“There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.” I don’t know much about the brother-to-brother relationship. My brothers are much older than I am and we’ve never had the kind of bond that you think of when you hear the word “brother.” I know that Heather and Bobby had a close relationship. Bobby said many times that Heather was his best friend. As children they were often in cahoots with each other, keeping their antics from mom and dad.
But a friendship that is CLOSER than a brother defies the DNA bond. Friends — close friends — don’t have the sibling rivalry thing. They don’t have the history of competing for their parents’ attention. They can share personal striggles, knowing that it won’t be leaked to other family members. A friend offers an escape from the sometimes dysfunction of familial relationships.
So what happens when a friendship is torn apart through separation, an argument or even death?
There’s a phrase that people use when someone looks sad: “You look like you’ve lost your best friend.” How true that is. It’s like losing a limb. It’s like losing a brother.
Brothers are there because they are born into our family. It is out of our control. But friends are made incrementally, through the passage of time. When a friend is lost, they are not easily replaced. Actually, that unique relationship will never be replaced.
It is up to each one to learn to go on, seek new friends and new relationships, keeping the love in our hearts alive.

Published by mygoldenchild

Thoughts on grief, loss, and death.

One thought on “Friendship

  1. …thank you Jane for this…it was 17 months ago that my precious AmberJewel died…she was my closest and most dearest friend…I love you Auntie. Thank you for capturing emotions, feelings and relationships and making them tangible through words.

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